As you know, renowned journalist and author Jeffrey Toobin got in trouble this week for jerking off on Zoom in front of his New Yorker co-workers. The specifics of the incident summon up profound new frontiers of intrigue with each passing day, but the way I interpret the thorny reporting, Toobin was restlessly horny during an "election simulation" made up of New Yorker all-stars that, on paper, reads like a bizarre Beckettian stage play. People like Jelani Cobb and Masha Gessen were taking time out of their day to impersonate the various factions of modern American political life, (Toobin was representing "the courts,") and honestly, that alone is headline news to me. Is this what people do when they start making more than six figures in the media? Group LARPing what Donald Trump might say if he loses Ohio? It sounds like an improv game from hell. Becca and I are currently watching The Vow, and the mass hysteria you'd need to stir up in order to convince ordinary people to participate in a hot night of Election Discourse Wargames is taken right out of the NXIVM handbook. If you're starting a cult, borrow first from whatever the political bureau of The New Yorker thinks is a productive use of their time. Whatever they're on, I want some.